In need of a Title
by Skye1
Summary: A humour HP fan fic. Two HP fan fic writers are mysteriously transported to the world of Hogwarts, only to learn things aren't exactly as they imagined.
1. Default Chapter

CHAPTER ONE: Ever Beta? In a computer class at Norkam Secondary School the students of Desktop Designs 11/12 sat at their desks: playing games, writing emails and other sorts of things. In other words, participating in any blatant attempt to avoid doing their class work and ignore their teacher.  
  
"Are you still taking those damned quizzes?" Asked Skye peering over at Staisha's computer.  
  
"Hang on. I have to choose between being a Draco or Harry fan.." Replied the brunette distractedly.  
  
"Riddle,"  
  
"That's not an option."  
  
"Yeah well, it should be."  
  
"I'm gonna go with Draco. He looks so much like Spike from Buffy."  
  
"Spike's sexier." Skye replied mechanically.  
  
"It's a matter of opinion."  
  
"Actually I think it's a matter of whether you're a pedophile or like of adult ages,"  
  
"I am not getting into this argument with you. Hold on and let me finish this quiz... Oh damn. I'm Ginny again," Staisha grumbled before clicking the back button.  
  
"You better not be changing your answers," Said Skye, clearly more interested in discussing the morals of online quiz takers than debating which of the two 'Blond Bad Boys' (as she often called them) was sexier.  
  
Staisha cocked one eyebrow curiously, but never removed the screen from her gaze. "And why is that?"  
  
"Because. It's.. just.. Because that's just wrong."  
  
"Uh huh. Aren't you the articulate one,"  
  
"You are corrupting the integrity of taking the quiz in all honesty,"  
  
"And I suppose you think choosing jumping out of a plane is more like you than going out for a 'pint' with your friends."  
  
Skye shrugged her shoulders. "I could jump out of a plane. Da plane boss! Da plane!"  
  
"You're afraid of heights," Staisha replied.  
  
"I am not." Said Skye with attemptive dignity. "I'm afraid of falling from heights."  
  
"Lets face it, the only way you'd be jumping out of a plane is if it was still parked on the ground." The blond stared at her for a moment and blinked. It seemed Staisha had actually managed to shut her up. It was amazing. Miracles did really happen.  
  
After staring at her screen blankly for a few minutes (while Staisha took more quizzes) she finally spoke in a very matter-of-a-fact-tone. "I hope you realize it was the Harry or Draco question that made you Ginny."  
  
"Yeah yeah. I know."  
  
"Damn the fandoms love for Draco and Ginny ship," Skye smiled overly pleased with the results. "You just can't fight what JK hints at,"  
  
"Shuddup."  
  
"Not even Trelawney could disagree with that ship."  
  
"Yes she could. But I give up. This is pointless!" She would have thrown her arms in the air if it wasn't so over dramatic. Arguing Harry Potter ships with her friend was like trying to get out of a speeding ticket. You could only delay the inevitable. It was like that song, the one that never ends.  
  
"Damn right it is," Said the cocky blond. "I'm sending you over my latest HP fic okay?"  
  
"Alright."  
  
"I'm thinking of killing off the mass majority of OC's in a DeathEater attack."  
  
"Are you serious?"  
  
"I'm not sure yet,"  
  
"Would you kill Draco?" Asked Staisha in all honesty.  
  
"Possibly," Skye shrugged her shoulders again and clicked her mouse. "Can you think of the possibilities? Bad guy blown up to bits by another bad guy, could get pretty bad."  
  
"That's it. For your next birthday I'm getting you a thesaurus."  
  
"Gee.. Thanks, go and spoil the surprise."  
  
"And besides, he's not bad. He's not even evil. He's a would-be-bad-guy- soon-to-be-turned-good."  
  
"Why can't you embrace the fact he's evil?"  
  
"He's a good guy at heart."  
  
"He's a DeathEater. He has no heart. He probably gave it up to Voldy."  
  
"He's not a DeathEater!" Defended Staisha.  
  
"Okay, my bad. He's like one of those fan fics said; He's a DeathNibbler."  
  
"No he's not. You'll see. When book five comes out, he'll be good."  
  
"And Malfoy will actually wear leather pants,"  
  
"I still don't understand why you keep on saying that." Said Staisha with a frown.  
  
"You've got to read Cassie Claire's fic to understand. But that's besides my point. Malfoy going good is as likely as Oliver Wood dropping his pants in front of Quidditch Pitch full of people,"  
  
"Now that's just stupid. Wood graduated. He can't do that. I'm telling you, Draco will be good. He'll go good, all because of-"  
  
"Don't say it!" Skye interrupted.  
  
Staisha grinned and continued. "All because of-"  
  
"I'm warning you." Skye wagged her finger in front of her friends face.  
  
"Hermoine Granger." Staisha finished. Skye clamped her hands onto her ears and began quietly howling, as if it pain.  
  
"It burns us! It burns us!" She cried in mock anguish.  
  
"You have got to stop with the movie quotes."  
  
"I'll quote as many movies as I please, thank you very much." Skye turned and peered at her friend's screen. "Have you got my email yet?"  
  
Staisha hit the refresh button, and then pushed up the nose rim of her glasses as she most commonly did. "Have you changed your email name lately?" She asked curiously.  
  
"Uh. not that I know of. Why?" "Well I don't see your email. There's only one from-" She squinted at the sender's name. "Albus Dumbledore,"  
  
"Another fan of Richard Harris?" Skye suggested.  
  
"Probably. But, how'd they get my email?"  
  
"How should I know? Open the email already." Said Skye impatiently.  
  
"Pushy little person aren't you?" Staisha chuckled and clicked on the email.  
  
"Hey! We agreed! No more jokes about my height." Skye pouted. Although Staisha stood a leggy 5,8' Skye was only 5,2 ½. Her height was always a universal joke subject for everyone but her. "Besides, all I ever get is spam. And it's not like I can even view it with this stupid net nanny."  
  
"Okay, okay. Let see here. Dear Miss Ritchie, I have attached a copy of my story in hopes you might beta it. Sincerely, A.D."  
  
"Wow. And I thought I was cracked. This person actually goes around calling themselves Albus Dumbledore."  
  
"Not everyone on the Internet is trying to impersonate a famous character. It could stand for something else you know." Staisha replied and clicked on the attachment.  
  
"Like what? Actually Delusional?" Skye replied, returning her attention to her own computer.  
  
"Whoah." Said Staisha amazed. Her hand fell from the computer mouse and off of the desk. Skye leaned over to examine the attachment. On the monitor the colours seemed to be swirling together creating one gapping whirlpool.  
  
"Hey Skye," Said Staisha quietly as she stared at the colourful display before them. "There's only one problem with this situation."  
  
"What's that?" Asked Skye equally mesmerized.  
  
"I've never been a beta."  
END OF CHAPTER ONE  
  
There are references to Cassie Claire's Draco series and Lord of the Rings in the chapter. Also a reference to the fic referring to Draco as a "DeathNibbler". I don't remember who wrote it, but it's their line so no stealing. 


	2. Chapter Two: Hogwarts

Chapter Two: Hogwarts  
  
When she awoke, Skye was utterly confused. Mainly because the last thing she remembered was not going too sleep. She had been at school hadn't she? Slowly one eye cracked open, and then another..   
  
"Holy shit."   
  
The blond sat up startled, her eyes wide and her mouth dropped in a amusing 'O'. Slowly she examined the room. Shelves, four poster beds-excluding the one she sat on of course-a furry ginger coloured cat sat on one of them, a doorway out and a window. Feeling quite unsure of herself, Skye climbed to her feet and walked towards the window. Outside, white snowflakes fell from the clouded sky and landed all over the grounds. A large lake was before the window.. A dark forest stretched across the land.. A hut stood on the border of it.. And further down she saw-   
  
"Holy flying shit." She cursed again.   
  
A door swung open, and the girl nearly jumped out of her skin. "It's about time you got up." Said another girl's voice.   
  
Skye turned slowly, and nearly fainted. The girl standing in the doorway had wavy, brown hair with more poof than her own and wore a neatly pressed dress shirt underneath her gray jumper. Her red and yellow tie was done up expertly, and was also tucked underneath the jumper. In her hands she held a large, hard cover book with the title Skye could just barely make out. 'Hogwarts: A History'. Skye couldn't believe it; standing in front of her was-it couldn't be-but it was! Standing in the door way was none other than Hermoine Granger.   
  
"Are you feeling better?" Hermoine asked walking into the room.   
  
"Where am I?" Skye asked glancing around. How the hell had this happened? Why was Hermoine Granger, a fictional character talking to her, and looking as real as rain? 'This is it.' Said the voice in Skye's mind, shrieking. 'I've finally gone crazy. Off the bend! Loco! I've got bats in my bellfree! I'm completely off my rocker!'   
  
"You suffered a bit of a concussion when you fell." Said Hermoine frowning slightly. "Do you remember what year it is?"   
  
Skye panicked. What if she wasn't crazy? What if she had somehow been transported to Hogwarts? She had to find Staisha..If she was even here. She couldn't very well have people knowing she didn't belong here. Not yet.... But Hermoine seemed to know her-which meant maybe she did belong at the school. What year was it? If she was really at Hogwarts that mean that it was-She thought quickly trying desperately to remember what year it was. Judging by her appearance, Hermoine appeared to be in her fifth or sixth year.   
  
"Chelsey?" Hermoine prodded. Skye blinked for a moment. Had she just called her.Chelsey? Her name actually was Chelsey, but very few knew that. How odd that Hermoine would call her by it.   
  
"1996?" She asked hopefully.   
  
Hermoine smiled. "I told them you'd be alright. You just needed to sleep it off."   
  
"Sleep what off?" Asked Skye frowning.   
  
"You got knocked off your broom. That prat Derrick hit you with a bludger."   
  
"A bludger? ..So I was playing Quidditch then?" She asked.   
  
"It was a Gryffindor versus Slytherin match on Sunday." Hermoine nodded. "Harry caught the Snitch a minute after you fell, so Slytherin didn't have time to score. I told Madame Pompfrey how you don't like the medical wing so after she made sure you were alright they brought you back to the dorm."   
  
Inside Skye felt like doing back flips. Not only did she go to Hogwarts, she played Quidditch! Which was quite odd considering she was afraid of heights.   
  
"You've been excused from classes for the rest of the day, although if I were you I'd get dressed and ready. Snape would love it if you weren't in class. Well, he'd love it if any Gryffindor missed his class."   
  
Skye felt a mild anger. "Biased git." She blinked. Did she just say git? And what was with the accent? Sure sometimes she'd speak with an accent just for the hell of it but-she wasn't even trying. "How much time do I have?"   
  
Hermoine shrugged. "Probably fifteen minutes."   
  
"Fifteen minutes?!" Skye squeaked. 'I have fifteen minutes to prepare myself for my first potions class ever?! Holy shit..'   
  
  
  
*   
  
"So I told Draco he didn't need to use that much styling gel. All he needed was enough to hold his hair back. After all, his father doesn't use gel in his hair."   
  
Staisha resisted the urge to point out that while Lucius Malfoy may not use hair gel, he did have a pretty, silk bow to hold back his hair.   
  
"After all, it's hard to run your hands through gobfulls of gel. Makes the snogging process a little, less effective."   
  
Staisha nodded brightly, pretended to listen. She had been at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry for a total of two hours so far. Apparently she was friend with Pansy Parkinson, although she couldn't see why. All Pansy ever did was talk about Draco Malfoy, not that Staisha could blame her. She had spent the entire History of Magic class ogling at him.   
  
"Don't you agree Ana?" Asked Pansy.   
  
And that was another thing. Parkinson seemed dead bent on calling her 'Ana', which she hated. She felt as if she was going to scream.   
  
"I wouldn't know Pansy." Staisha replied courteously. "I've never snogged with Draco." Pansy nodded, and then continued speaking.   
  
Skye had once called her Ana, and Staisha had promptly corrected her. Looking around as they made their way to potions she kept searching the halls for the curly haired blond. Maybe she hadn't been brought to Hogwarts- Maybe she was back in class typing a letter this very minute! Staisha glanced over at Pansy as she heard her 'name' mentioned again. She had half a mind to tell Pansy to 'bugger off.' But she needed someone to sit with, and to explain things to her.   
  
Apparently her name was Anastaisha Ritchie (which was true), she was a sixth year Slytherin students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was friends with Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode, who oddly enough reminded her of a very butch girl from NorKam.   
  
"Here come the Gryffindors." Said Pansy with a head tilt towards the stairwell. Coming down the stairs was that know-it-all Hermoine Granger. Staisha found it strange how she seemed to feel such a burning hatred whenever Hermoine was around. Obviously her Hogwarts self didn't care for the sucking up mudblood-There she went again.  
  
Hermoine wasn't very pretty, and as Staisha had always reminded Skye, she had been right to say she wouldn't look like she walked off the cover of Teen People. So if she wasn't pretty, all that was left was defensive, stuck up and a total show off. The term 'typical Gryffindor' came to mind. Staisha briefly considered the idea that Hermoine was a show off because she wasn't the student population's favourite person. But that only brought on feelings of enmity; if she could blend into the crowd why couldn't Hermoine?  
  
Beside her was another girl, with curly dark blond and a nervous smile that Staisha recognized immediately. Skye.  
  
Skye's eyes widened as she saw her, and Staisha glanced over at her fellow Slytherins. Taking the opportunity, she shot the blond a "play along" look. Skye nodded warily and continued to follow Hermoine.  
  
"Feeling better Galbraith? Where's your friend Mr. Bludger?" Pansy let out a high-pitched laugh. Staisha watched her friend's expression change quickly from shock to stiff upper lip.  
  
"That's terribly original of you Parkinson. Did someone help you with that?" She replied good-naturedly. Pansy blinked. "Just as I thought. C'mon Hermoine."  
  
Although Staisha couldn't see her friend's facial expression, she knew Skye was smiling enough for the both of them.  
  
Sorry it took so long for this chapter. Kinda forgot what I wanted to write in it. Anyways, next chapter Staisha discovers a Slytherin secret, Harry becomes suspicious, Skye takes to the air and someone might actually get some snogging in!   
  
Thanks 2 Ravishingly Discreet, Anna Chan, Kermit & Selasious for reviews & comments! 


End file.
